thatsmysword

I will do my level best to keep this short.

The Canon - Kingdom Come: Deliverance
Once upon a time, a very loud Czech man called Daniel Vávra left his cushy job at 2K Games and began his own video game studio called Warhorse Studios in his native Prague. They announced, crowdfunded, and made an impressive historical immersive sim called Kingdom Come: Deliverance (2018). The Gamergate crowd quickly got a whiff of the Historically Accurate White People In The Middle Ages game, and glommed onto it, and Vávra, being Vávra, sucked up all the attention while yelling at all the woke libs trying to get diversity into his game.

That could've been the end of it, except this year Vávra, being Vávra, did the funniest thing he could have possibly done and released a sequel that included 1) a major black character, 2) a major Jewish character and a storyline about a Jewish quarter in the Czech city of Kutna Hora that may not have actually existed, and most notably, 3) an optional gay romance storyline for his lead character Henry. The internet exploded and Vávra switched his day job from yelling 'censorship' at the woke libs to yelling 'fuck off Nazis' at the Gamergate crowd. It was an objectively funny time to be in video games.

Anyway, Kingdom Come: Deliverance is, at this point, a duology centering around Czech history, specifically the years leading up to the Hussite Wars, a defining conflict for not just Czechia but also the European continent and Christianity as a whole. Rather than centering on the heroes of said conflict - though some of said heroes appear as younger men in the second game - or the conflict itself, it starts more than a decade earlier at the sacking of Skalitz and follows the young bastard son of local lord Radzig Kobyla as he gets entangled in some of the events leading up to the Hussite Wars.

Both games take place in Bohemia, a region of Czechia, with the first one centering on the area around Skalitz - most notably the towns of Talmberg and Rattay - and the second focusing on the thriving Big City of Kutna Hora. They are very big, they are very pretty, they try to be at least somewhat realistic in terms of gameplay (causing much frustration with the unsuspecting beginner), and they are generally quite well written, as long as you don't wander too far off the path Warhorse intended.

Which is how we wind up in the bizarre situation where the gay romance option is technically the best-written and most endgame-esque of the entire duology and no I still do not understand how that happened.

Henry
Henry of Skalitz is said bastard son of Sir Radzig Kobyla, though he won't know that for quite some time yet. He was raised by his frustratingly unnamed mother - Radzig's former lover - and Radzig's blacksmith friend Martin, and no, the game is not particularly clear on how exactly that arrangement worked out. (Fan theories everywhere.) Growing up as everyone's favorite do-nothing boy in Skalitz, Henry wanted for nothing, but desired adventure anyway.

You can guess how that works out, especially if you actually read the words 'sacking of Skalitz' above: at the start of the first game, his village is raided by mercenaries in the employ of King Sigismund of Hungary. They're trying to lure out Sir Radzig Kobyla, who is leader of the army belonging to the imprisoned King Wenceslas of Bohemia. Henry's stepfather barely has the chance to shove an ornate sword he made for Radzig into Henry's arms before he and his wife are killed. Henry later loses the sword when he returns to Skalitz to try and bury his parents. (His old friend/future ex-girlfriend Theresa winds up having to save his ass.)

Radzig finds refuge with the local Lords of Leipa, Sir Hanush and his ward Sir Hans Capon, in their manorial holding of Rattay. For mysterious reasons (tm) Radzig takes a liking to Henry, and then through an escalating series of events Henry winds up involved in local intrigue around King Sigismund's mercenaries, becomes extremely vibey best friends (or possibly more) with Hans Capon, and eventually falls in with future Hussite War leader and current bandit Jan Žižka in the second game. Yadda yadda. I'd say play the games, but I have to stress they're not for everyone.

They are cool, though, show off a part of European history that doesn't often get attention, and have some thoughtful things to say about revenge, healing and community in times of great upheaval.

Henry is:

An everyman, or as we like to put it in this fandom, a gormless peasant. He's not especially brave or special and being the bastard of a noble without any holdings really doesn't bring anything but trouble.

... however, all that Skalitz trauma has unlocked an inexcusable level of unhinged in him. The man can be quite insane. Do not mistake it for bravery.

A sweet and funny doofus a lot of the time, but one with an unexpectedly terrifying temper and see that unhinged streak above.

He can't really read very well. He's had two days of lessons and can sort of make his way through a few paragraphs every fifteen minutes, but it'll take him some time to adjust to all the words around here.

Luckily he's very curious and a fast learner.

Likes picking flowers. Wants to be a swordsman, but is pretty useless at it at present. Knows a little bit about medicine, less about lockpicking, a lot about blacksmithing, and has a jealousy-inducing knack for talking absolute bullshit when cornered.

Also a medieval peasant, but from a relatively tolerant period in medieval history. Sorry if he stares - feel free to contact me OOCly if it's causing a problem - but he will get over any issues fairly quickly.

And that's as short as I can make it!

The Others, In Very Short

Atton (Jack) Rand (

suitably_heroic):

Back for the summer!

Calls himself Jack on Earth now, but you don't have to.

Ex-Republic soldier ex-pilot ex-Sith assassin ex-smuggler ex-Jedi and currently a singer in an industrial post-metal post-hardcore post-punk post-a lot of things (let's just call it 'rock') band.

Just put out a record about getting your shit together and being weirded out by it.

Telepaths trying to read his mind will get nothing but noise like counting cards or chords or whatever makes sense at the time.

Jesse Faden (

weirderthanthou):

Mayor of Fandom.

Secretly also the Director of the Federal Bureau of Control. Has a magic transforming gun that'll kill anyone but her if you touch it and a smorgasbord of superpowers.

Sort of? Dating? shapethecentury now? After years of preamble. Gosh.

Not my first ponytailed redhead. Not my last either.

I try to post her at Town Hall a few times a semester in case you have any town business you want to handle ICly. Also feel free to just mail me if you want to set something up!

Pamela Isley (

joan_of_bark)

Is That Poison Ivy, taken from the current G. Willow Wilson run.

Runs Pick Your Poison in town.

Currently does not have entirely functional plant powers, so she infected herself with a strain of zombie fungus called the lamia that gives her special powers, as one does.

You do not want to get infected with the lamia. Luckily she has it under control and can keep it from spreading, but some of it is growing on her at all times. Don't touch it.

Is That Poison Ivy, so remember to be kind to the Earth when you're around her or she will end you.

Me:

Once again being busted back to freelancer by my employer who can't live with me but also not without me, so this summer may or may not be kind of slow and RP-forward for me.